England's red tinted contact lenses... a deal with the devil?!

Apparently, the England cricket team are experimenting with red tinted contact lenses instead of sunglasses. Apparently, the tinted lenses reduce glare but also improve eyesight: "The lenses don't restrict a player's peripheral vision like glasses do, however, and don't get steamed up or covered in sweat". That's their cover story anyway. I prefer the likelier explanation: in their desperation to beat India in the subcontinent and retain the Ashes later in the year, the English cricket team have sold their soul to the devil, as evidence by their fiendishly red glowing eyes.

Posted by JC on Mon 20 Feb

4 comments

You know you're right when the Aussie crowd start singing their rendition of "The Devil Went Down To Georgia" (Play this song in your head while reading)

The Pom's went down to Australia. They were lookin' to bat, bowl and field. They were in a bind 'cause they were way behind, and not willin' to make a deal, when they came across this young aussie side on a pitch and playin' it hot. And the pommies pulled up on a wicket stump and said, "Oi, let us tell you what."

We guess you don't acknowledge it but we're cricket players, too. And if you'd care to take a dare, We'll make a bet with you. Now, you play pretty good cricket, boys, but give the english their due. We'll bet an ashes urn against your turn, 'cause we think we're better than you."

The green and gold said, "My now we're Aussies, and it might be a sin. But we'll take your bet, you're gonna regret, 'cause we're the best that's ever been."

Aussies, raise up your bat and play your cricket hard, 'cause hell's broke loose in Brisbane and the devil deals the cards.

And if you win you get this shiny urn of old... But if you lose, the pommies get your goal.

The poms opened up the batting and they said, "We'll start this show." And our paceman ripped at they're fingertips as they tried to bat.

They pulled their shots onto the stumps and ump said your dismissed. Then a band of barmy army joined in and it sounded somethin' like this:

(Hiss, Hiss, Hiss!) - Instrumental bit

When the poms had finished playing, they were all out for a hundred and one, but the aussies said "get out and field and we will show you how it's done.

Four to the boundary. Run, boys, run. The pom's in the country of the Rising Sun. Chickens in the field now cursing their blows. Pommy, does your sunshine bite? Oh, bloody, no.

The poms bowed their head because they knew that they'd been beat. And laid that golden urn on the pitch at the Aussies feet.

The crowd belowed, "Poms, just come on back if you ever want to try again. 'Cause we told you now, you son of BRITS, We're the best that's ever been."

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Posted by xiaobao on 2011-08-12 19:22:51

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England's red tinted contact lenses... a deal with the devil?!

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