How Australia will win back the Ashes - Part 2
In the first installment on how Australia will win back the Ashes, I've already looked at how Australia can neutralise the English bowlers. I think I posted that article a few days early - since then a few new juicy tidbits have emerged such as Duncan Fletcher considering selecting Ashley Giles (liar!) and Steve Harmison confessing guilt over striking Ricky Ponting at Lords. A fast bowler feeling guilt over drawing blood? Jeff Thomson would be rolling in his grave (well, if he was dead). Nevertheless, although the next two weeks is looking to be a veritable chirp-fest of player comments and press releases, I'll press on as we look at how to overcome England's batsmen:
- Marcus Trescothick: Tresco has already made himself a target by expecting Aussie taunts after quitting the Indian tour due to stress. However, Ricky Ponting has pledged Australia won't sledge Trescothick about his stress issues. Come on! You can just imagine England at 0 for 130, late in the middle session of a hot day... suddenly the high principles of the Aussies will melt away and the chirping will begin. However, if all else fails, a few late-night prank calls to Trescothick's hotel room ought to get the stress levels rising.
- Andrew Strauss: - admittedly, it is tough to find a weakness in Strauss (unless McGrath is fit). He scored two centuries in the 2005 Ashes series and captained England in a clean sweep over Pakistan (although we all know the 3rd Test doesn't count). It says a lot about England that their two best batsmen are from South Africa.
- Ian Bell: England like to boast they don't have the scars of past English sides who were thrashed by Australia. However, one batsmen who does have a few scars is Ian Bell, having a miserable 2005 Ashes. Sure, he's made a few runs since then against lesser sides but a few low scores early in this series and a steady barrage of mental disintegration from the close-in fielders ought to open up those scars and leave England with a vulnerable middle-order.
- Kevin Pietersen: While I can't deny Pietersen has talent, I rate him as an overrated (especially by himself) and unreliable. Until the last day of the 2005 Ashes, he made no discernable impact on the series other than dropping a bucketload of catches. Had either Hayden or Warne held their catch at the Oval, Pietersen would've fell cheaply, Australia would've retained the Ashes and Pietersen most likely without a Test career. That said, the man is dangerous. Just to play it safe, I'd suggest quietly smuggling a live, near-sighted skunk into his bed while he sleeps. The ensuing spraying should diminish Pietersen's eyesight to the point where a Brett Lee yorker should be more than enough.
- Alastair Cook: - I like the cut of Alastair Cook's gib (and not just because we share the same surname. He scored a double hundred for Essex against Australia last year (albeit against an impotent Jason Gillespie and tryhard Stuart MacGill) and Test debuted with a century against India. He could prove a handful although his true mettle against a rampaging McGrath with a shiny pill is yet to be seen.
- Chris Read: I'm assuming England will select the better wicketkeeper over the arguably better batsman in Geraint Jones. The fact that neither player have a contract with the ECB raises little confidence in the English wicketkeeper position.
So that covers the England batsmen. Perhaps not as amusing as my post on the English bowlers but let's face it - the England batting order are a dull lot. Next installment, we look at the Aussie bowlers.
| Posted by JC on Thu 9 Nov |  3 comments |
Trescothick: mental problems
Strauss: My main concern - unremarkable but always good for at least 50.
Bell: Don't bother factoring him into anything...
Pietersen: Nothing but a slogger in my books. No finesse about this guy - check out his inability to catch a ball last time 'round. It's all very well but a great batsman needs a bit more than brute force. Sure he'll get runs once or twice but now that the silly hair-do has gone, his novelty value is plummetting, which may keep him from playing more than 3 Tests if he doesn't fire straight away.
Cook: Mr. Average, does nothing brilliant but however, does nothing bad.
Read: Back to basics and a step in the right direction as Jones is surely another casualty of Australia's awesome Gilchrist factor. You simply can't expect many wicketkeepers to be great batsmen (or vice versa) like Gilly but the Poms fell into the trap. Jones was one or the other. Read will hopefully be their good old-fashioned solid 'keeper who can bat a bit and come in as a night watchman to fend off Warnie & co. The Poms need another Allan Knott or Bob Taylor rather than trying to manufacture the next greatest wicketkeeper batmen in the history of the game.
Posted by virtualgaz on 2006-11-09 21:44:45
Strauss: My main concern - unremarkable but always good for at least 50.
Bell: Don't bother factoring him into anything...
Pietersen: Nothing but a slogger in my books. No finesse about this guy - check out his inability to catch a ball last time 'round. It's all very well but a great batsman needs a bit more than brute force. Sure he'll get runs once or twice but now that the silly hair-do has gone, his novelty value is plummetting, which may keep him from playing more than 3 Tests if he doesn't fire straight away.
Cook: Mr. Average, does nothing brilliant but however, does nothing bad.
Read: Back to basics and a step in the right direction as Jones is surely another casualty of Australia's awesome Gilchrist factor. You simply can't expect many wicketkeepers to be great batsmen (or vice versa) like Gilly but the Poms fell into the trap. Jones was one or the other. Read will hopefully be their good old-fashioned solid 'keeper who can bat a bit and come in as a night watchman to fend off Warnie & co. The Poms need another Allan Knott or Bob Taylor rather than trying to manufacture the next greatest wicketkeeper batmen in the history of the game.
Posted by virtualgaz on 2006-11-09 21:44:45
Your over thinking about it! We have a secret weapon:
http://boony.mollyzine.com/2006/10/30/reason-for-the-2005-ashes-loss-boony-commercial/
Molly
http://boony.mollyzine.com
Posted by Phillip Molly Malone on 2006-11-10 17:16:34
http://boony.mollyzine.com/2006/10/30/reason-for-the-2005-ashes-loss-boony-commercial/
Molly
http://boony.mollyzine.com
Posted by Phillip Molly Malone on 2006-11-10 17:16:34
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