How the Liberals can win

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Here's how I see it. Little Johnny wants to get re-elected and has buckleys of doing so based on his current set of policies. He needs one big mother of a rabbit to pull out of his eyebrow laden hat, and I think I've found it.

To appreciate the beauty of this plan, you must understand what it is that makes Aussies tick, namely:

• Cricket
• Beers in Summer
  
• Giving it to the Poms
  
• Days off work

Imagine the political gain that would be realised if all these pastimes could be combined into one voter swinging event. I give you Shane Warne Day, to be held on the nearest monday to the 24th of March each year.

As it happens this date is exactly 462 days after we regained the Ashes in Perth on December 18th, which is incidentally the same period of time that the Poms have held the trophy in the last 18 years.

Many new cricket-based traditions could be established on Shane Warne Day, and I'd love to hear readers suggestions for these. Here's some to get you started:

• 'Drink like Boony' - 52 beer minimum
  
• 'bowl like lil Johnny' - easier after 52 beers
  
• 2BL's Hottest 100 sixes by Gilly
  
• and at the end of the day everyone grabs a whacking stick for my personal favourite 'Tonk a Pom'

Fun for all the family

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Posted by Moses on Wed 21 Nov

19 comments

What about Aussie Sportsmanship Day??

February 1st for example...

In case you'd forgotten, http://www.sportsfreak.co.nz/show-column.asp?ID=1#

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Posted by sportsfreak on 2007-11-21 13:58:52

Still makes me laugh every time I see that. If ever you wanted to do something for the sole purpose of belittling kiwi's, this would be it.

I suppose an underarm bowloff could be held on Shane Warne day in Trevor's honour.

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Posted by Moses on 2007-11-21 14:10:42

Fastest, legible erotic text message? (must consume 52 beers and three tins of spag to qualify for this event)

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Posted by TA on 2007-11-21 15:46:10

It's a good idea, but surely this may derail my David Hussey for PM campaign.

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Posted by Uncle J Rod on 2007-11-21 21:44:11

David Hussey could take over from the Liberals in the off season.. old eyebrows wants to retire anyway..

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Posted by Moses on 2007-11-21 22:57:15

Uncle J, I love your blog's header. Good article about David Hussey too (but what've you got against Queenslanders?)

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Posted by JC on 2007-11-22 07:33:43

Yeah, Cricket With Balls is looking pretty good, and is the most frequently updated of blogs that I've found... he's got one for the Victorian Bushranges, as far as I know the only Pura Cup blog out there...

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Posted by Moses on 2007-11-22 11:21:36

Just looked at the Bushrangers blog - makes me want to create a Bulls blog by right of reply. Nah, too much work, I'll just continue to fly the Qld flag here at cricket-blog.

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Posted by JC on 2007-11-22 12:18:50

I was also thinking of a NSW Blog... obviously the first thing I would do is give them a decent name!

I agree though, probably better to do them all here. Is there a way to filter on a tag used in a blog entry?

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Posted by Moses on 2007-11-22 12:54:56

I haven't got anything against new texas JC, i hate them just as much as i hate any state other than victoria, well except for NSW who are the South Africa of domestic cricket (except they win from time to time).

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Posted by Uncle J Rod on 2007-11-22 21:46:06

The Mighty Bluetongues have no involvement with the dark side of the hemisphere whatsoever. And we don't choke, or wear green. Plus none of our bowlers are formerly convicted racists who were released on appeal.

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Posted by Moses on 2007-11-22 21:55:43

Are NSW really called the Bluetongues???


Be careful with that one AM; it’s got another meaning on this side of the Tasman…

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Posted by sportsfreak on 2007-11-23 07:33:22

They sure are called the bluetongues, ever since I declared a Jihad on Speedblitz

Am curious as to what a bluetongue is in Jandaland though, if it's rude can you stick it up at Oxen Shizer

Cheers!

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Posted by Moses on 2007-11-23 09:13:56

Bluetongue = Maoris.

If you’re wondering why, just get one to open their mouth next time you’re in Bondi.

Quite commonly used in the 80s, but it’s pretty un-PC these days so you don’t hear it as often.

If your rugby club or school got drawn to play in certain parts of town one Saturday you’d say “Shit, we’re up against the bluetongues this week”

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Posted by sportsfreak on 2007-11-23 09:20:31

Fair enough, don't think I'd want to play rugby against a Maori team either!

Over here they're a cool lizzard, and with NSW representing all that's good and blue in the universe seemed an appropriate mascot for our mights Sheffield Shield team

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Posted by Moses on 2007-11-23 09:22:20

I remember when I was playing touch footy (before cricket ruined my knee), playing a team with a large proportion of Maoris. One guy "touched" me by ankle tapping me. Not just a light flick - a full arm swing that took my legs from under me and I crumpled to the ground. I think no form of football is safe when you're playing a Maori team :-)

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Posted by JC on 2007-11-23 10:24:37

Thinking about this, there is something totally appropriate about a Sydney based side being called the bluetongues..

Why don’t you go the whole way and call them the NSW Maoris?

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Posted by sportsfreak on 2007-11-23 12:14:01

Several reasons why we wouldn't call them the NSW Maoris

there are no players of Maori descent

I can not remember a player of Maori descent ever being in the team (can anyone?)

they're already called the NSW Bluetongues, and obviously love the new name as they've just won by an innings

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Posted by Moses on 2007-11-23 13:25:32

Well Johnny, should have listened to me and you might have even kept your seat.

I'll still be celebrating Shane Warne Day..

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Posted by Moses on 2007-11-26 15:59:04

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