It's official - England cheated in 2005
It turns out Matt Hayden was wrong - we didn't lose the 2005 Ashes because of divine intervention. No, we were defeated by breath mints. Specifically, breath mints illegally applied to the surface of the ball to induce reverse swing. And no, this accusation doesn't come from Nathan Bracken with sour grapes. This comes from the fresh breathed confession of "the man in charge of looking after the ball", Marcos Trescothick.
"I was firmly established as the man in charge of looking after the ball when we were fielding. It was my job to keep the shine on the new ball for as long as possible with a bit of spit and a lot of polish. And through trial and error I finally settled on type of spit for the task at hand.
It had been common knowledge in county cricket for some time that certain sweets produced saliva which, when applied to the ball for cleaning purposes, enabled it to keep its shine for longer and therefore its swing.''
Should Australians be outraged that England cheated in 2005 to win the Ashes? Personally, I'm not fussed. Australia still should've won the series. When Matt Hayden after 4 Tests of failures finally ate humble pie and changed his batting technique, he scored a century and England barely staved off defeat due to poor light. England with illegally tampered cricket balls were still no match for Australia playing at their best. One can only assume the lollies didn't get past customs in 2006 when we defeated them 5-nil in a damp squib of a Test series. I say bring on the breath mints in 2009.
| Posted by JC on Tue 26 Aug |  6 comments |
Matthew Hayden's biggest fan: Usain Bolt
Well, the Olympics are over and I'm already going into sports withdrawal - falling from 24/7 sports coverage to one Broncos game each weekend is one helluva come down. And while the chances of cricket becoming an Olympic sport look as likely as a Shane Warne comeback, there was one cricket mention during the Olympics when Usain Bolt mentioned he would love to meet Matthew Hayden.
Colour me surprised. Maybe being an Australian cricket fan and a Queenslander, familiarity breeds contempt. Usain Bolt probably hasn't been exposed to Hayden's psychobabble like blaming the Ashes 2005 loss on God or expressing disappointment at getting bitten by a dog. And Hayden's reaction to Bolt's surprise confession doesn't disappoint:
"It's pretty humbling isn't it for an old fisherman and surfer in Queensland who now and then plays a bit of cricket,"
"Who now and then plays a bit of cricket"?! Classic Hayden pretension. It's like hearing him boast "if smashing 380 Test runs off a minnow side on a flat pitch makes me a hero, well, call me a hero". Well, he hasn't said that yet but keep your ears peeled.
| Posted by JC on Mon 25 Aug | 4 comments |
