Aloof theory

In my late teens, I developed "Aloof Theory". The basic idea was your chance of snaring a girlfriend was directly proportional to your disinterest in having a girlfriend. I thought about girls a lot in my late teens, as you might expect. In other words, just like dogs smell fear, girls can smell desperation on a guy. But if you were content in your singleness, your chances soared. Isn't life ironic?

Over the next few decades, I expanded Aloof Theory into all aspects of life (a kind of Grand Unified Aloof Theory). When I stopped stressing about whether I was successful enough as a cartoonist, I worked out my place in the scheme of things. When I decided to be content in my marriage, my relationship with my wife was that much more fulfilling. And inevitably, Aloof Theory found its way into sport.

During the 2008 Olympics, I noticed many athletes talking about relaxing and enjoying themselves. It made no sense to me. How can you enjoy swimming your guts out to the point of exhaustion? Well, apparently you can as it was only the gold medalists who seemed to talk that way. This was also mirrored in the South African chatter before they toured Australia - they discussed being less anxious, relaxing and enjoying the cricket. It seemed to work a treat as they delivered our first home series defeat in over a decade.

I also noticed when I played club cricket, my performance was often tied to how relaxed I was. In the final game of the last winter season, my shoulders were so tight as I came in to bowl that I was simply unable to land the ball on a good length. Long hop after long hop, it was a disaster. Similarly, in the first game of last summer, I went out to bat, so anxious that I seemed to lose all strength in my arms.

Then a knee injury meant I had the rest of the summer to mull over it. And I realised anxiety was ruining my performance. Finally, I had knee surgery in March so I'm about to start the winter season tomorrow. And I've decided to adopt Aloof Theory as my philosophy this season.

Keith Miller personified Aloof Theory when he said "pressure is a Messerschmitt up your arse, playing cricket is not". Miller played Test cricket for his country and he realised it was just a game. I'm playing B grade cricket against overweight, middle aged club cricketers. Surely I can gain a similar perspective. Having endured a death in the family, surgery and family health issues in the last few months, well, there are more important things in life.

So this summer, I'm going out just to enjoy my cricket. Savour each strike off the middle of the bat. Delight in landing the ball on the right spot. I'm sure I'll still have one eye on averages and aggregates (particularly when they're so delightfully displayed by CriciWiki). But my main goal for the winter season is to focus my mind on the enjoyment and process of playing cricket.

That and master the googly.

Posted by JC on Fri 1 May

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